Juliet’s School Picnic May 15, 2007
Posted by Kristen in Kids, School.add a comment
At the beginning of April, I finally did it: I enrolled Juliet in a Japanese preschool. I’m so glad that she has the opportunity to learn Japanese and it’s an interesting adventure for me, too, to be a part of a Japanese school. I still speak very little Japanese, so it can be a challenge at times. Noriko picks Juliet up from school and gives me messages from the teachers, and she translates the notes for me. If I have something important to tell them in the morning, I look it up beforehand and write it down (I still have to say it, however, since they can’t really read Japanese words written in Roman characters). So far it’s going smoothly.
I have found some of the routines of the Japanese preschool, called hoikuen, to be interesting and amusing. Here is the list of items Juliet needs to have at school each day:
- indoor shoes
All children wear these in school, including Isabella. This is how they keep the floors clean without having the kids running around in their sock feet. The shoes are kind of like Keds, lightweight white canvas sneakers.
- a smock, with elastic at the neck and wrists
To keep the children clean during lunch, as well as for art projects.
- a towel with a loop
Also a Japanese school staple. Every child has his or her own towel which they use every day and bring home to wash. No paper towels or hand dryers in the bathroom. Very frugal and environmentally friendly
(Note – public bathrooms here often have no towels, either. Most people carry a small towel or handkerchief in their pocket or purse and use it after handwashing.)
- a placemat
For lunch.
Everything had to be labelled with her name, in Japanese. I asked Noriko to do most of them so it would be as neat as possible, but I did label the backpack myself. Here’s what “Juliet” looks like in Katakana:
ジュリエット
(It is pronounced something like “Jurietto,” which is about as awkward in Japanese as it is in English. We have taken to calling her Juju at home, and that seems to be catching on at school as well. Even Juliet can say it, which is incredibly endearing.)
The new school year begins here on April 1, so it’s been about a month and a half now. Last week was their first outing: a picnic with all the 1- and 2-year-old classes at Shinjuku Gyoen, a large and very pretty park in Tokyo. It was a beautiful and very warm day and the children all seemed to have a good time. I found it to be very different from any of the outings I had done with Isabella in New York. Though it wasn’t strict or rigid, it was all carefully planned and everything was done together. I also noticed that all of the rest of the people I saw in the park that day were on some kind of group outing: children in matching uniforms, adults with matching ribbons pinned to their shirts, walking together or eating together or doing some organized group activity.
Here’s what the day looked like for our little ones:
When we arrived, we set up our picnic mats in a shady spot under some large trees. This is what a typical Japanese group picnic looks like:
Soon afterwards, we all stood in a circle to sing a song. I think it was their regular good-morning song. Then we sat down again to socialize and eat a snack. Then there was an organized game. Here’s what the 1-year-olds got to do: The teachers set up two long ribbons several meters apart, with a row of balls in between. The little ones stood behind the first ribbon, then walked to the middle and picked up a ball, and then walked on to the second ribbon.
It seemed just the right level of difficulty for the little ones, and they managed to do it with help. Juliet was very happy with her new ball.
There was more free time, for sitting on the mats or playing with the balls, and then the teachers rounded everyone up for a walk. I had no idea where we were going, and ended up carrying Juliet for quite a distance. We ended up on a bridge over a lily-pad covered pond that was inhabited by a large number of turtles. The teachers had bags of crackers and gave one to each child, to feed the turtles. (Juliet tried to eat hers first, and had to be gently coaxed to toss it over the side!) It took some time to ensure every child had a chance, as the bridge was small and the group pretty big. Finally, we moved on to a tree that they had hung with origami necklaces for the children to “discover.”
Finally we walked back to our shady tree to eat lunch. I had packed Juliet’s bento box with a cream cheese and jelly sandwich cut into small squares and I had some cut up fruit for us to share. My Japanese friend Mari had packed traditional lunches for herself and her daughter: rice in one compartment, and in the other, several separate tiny cooked foods–a rolled omelette, a hot dog cut to look like a squid, and a tiny piece of fried chicken. Yes, I asked–she cooked it all fresh that morning.
Here are Juliet and Mari’s daughter Mion, who have been friends since last fall in Gymboree and are now in the same preschool class together.
All in all, it was a nice day and an interesting experience. It is very clear how important group activities are to the Japanese. Group outings like this are common not just throughout school years but into adulthood as well, in the form of company outings. Although the planned activities were simple and age-appropriate, they were all carefully choreographed and everyone was expected to participate. It didn’t give me the feeling that behaving differently would be frowned upon; it simply seemed that it was not an option. I wonder if I would have the patience to endure years of these outings, if we were to live here for many years . . . .
Bullies and Witches November 7, 2006
Posted by Kristen in Holiday, Kids, School.add a comment
It is such a challenge to keep up with this journal, and always difficult to decide what to write about. Sometimes when big things happen, I am so tired out by dealing with the event itself that I have no energy left to write about it. How do real writers do this?
Just when things start to get settled in part of my life here, it seems I can free up space to deal with the other parts that I have pushed aside. And then I can get knocked for a loop all over again.
I had not been involved in Isabella’s school at all, and knew very little about what was going on in her class. So when they had a Field Day recently, I decided to go and check it out.
On Friday October 27, I packed up Juliet and a picnic lunch and went to Isabella’s school for Field Day. The children spent almost the whole day at a nearby elementary school (which seems to be no longer in use as a school) that has outdoor space with a tr
ack. They were put into groups mixed by age and competed in lots of different activities. Some seemed more fun than others, but the ended with a tug-of-war tournament that everyone seemed to enjoy. Up until this point, I had only been to school twice: on Isabella’s first day to drop her off, and for her birthday to serve cupcakes. It was nice to spend the day there and meet some of the other parents. They were dismissed early and several of us went to a nearby park. I had a chance to visit with several other mothers and Isabella had fun playing with other kids, something she has had very little opportunity to do because of the long school day and long bus ride. Juliet fared well even though she missed both naps, enjoying the company of all the big kids, and crawling in the dirt.
It was fortunate that I met and spoke to the other moms on Friday, because on Saturday morning I got a call from one of them. She asked if I had been aware that one of the girls in Isabella’s class had put her shirt in the toilet on Thursday afternoon. It seems that several of the girls had been called back to school on Friday afternoon after Field Day and questioned by the teachers. Somehow, however, nobody thought to let me in on it, even though I had been there all day. Needless to say, it was all pretty upsetting and I was pretty angry with the teachers. I was also upset because Isabella had been telling me things that had happened in school, and I realized that I hadn’t been paying close enough attention. Her first few days, everyone wanted to be her friend and they used to argue about who got to sit next to her. But then, quite suddenly, it stopped. It seems that this one girl was jealous of her and decided that she would make the others stop paying attention to her. She started some sort of negative campaign against Isabella which included stealing things and telling others Isabella had done it, and probably even threatening the girls if they tried to be friendly to her. The shirt in the toilet was the last straw. I finally understood what had been going on and I hit the roof. Then I had to spend the rest of the weekend recovering and decompressing, waiting until I could talk to someone at school on Monday.
I was pleasantly surprised when I spoke to the principal (who is American ) on Monday and found that he understood that there was real bullying going on and agreed that it was very serious. I arranged to go in on Tuesday and meet with both of Isabella’s teachers and then with the teachers and principal together. It is a tricky problem, including language and cultural differences as well as plain old-fashioned bullying. Still, the meeting went well. The teachers apologized for not talking to me sooner and said they were making some immediate and obvious changes, such as only letting one child go to the bathroom at a time. The principal has had real experience with bullying when he taught in public school in Glasgow and seemed to have good, sensible ideas about what to do and what not to do. In addition, he seems kind and approachable and I think the kids feel comfortable talking to him. I was really impressed with how he handled the situation. The next day (or was it later that day?), two of the girls apologized to Isabella in front of the class. She is content that it’s all over and done with, but I’m still wary. I still don’t trust the girl who has been the ringleader and it’s hard to know which of the other girls will tend to be fearful followers and which will be true friends.
Although it was exhausting, in the end I was glad that this whole shirt incident took place. It was so outrageous that it made everyone stand up and take notice, and got everyone involved. Now, hopefully, it will get better. And I will make an effort to spend more time at school and make sure Isabella has more time to play with her friends outside of school, out of the reach of the bully.
This led us right into Halloween. Although Noriko told me that Japanese children don’t go trick-or-treating, we saw several groups of them wandering through our neighborhood in full costume. Maybe they’ve discovered this is the place to come, with all the Americans here? Isabella was invited to go with her friend Eric in his apartment building nearby. It is a huge building with lots of Americans and Eric’s mom promised lots of loot. I tried to get a picture of the two of them together, but Juliet was afraid of Eric’s Space Alien mask and he had to hide it until they left! I stayed in the apartment with Juliet and Eric’s mom while Isabella and Eric went in search of treats. They had a lot of fun going around the building and came back heavily laden with candy, both familiar treats and some strange new ones.
On Wednesday afternoon Isabella had a playdate with a girl from another class at school who lives nearby. Her mother had sent a note home to me asking if she could pick the girls up after school and take them to the park. I met them later and they seemed to have had a very nice time together. They are Japanese and speak English pretty well. The mother seems like a lovely person. She told me that several of the mothers were planning a trip in December to a new theme park and wanted to know if they could take Isabella. I thought it was so nice of them to think of her and ask to include her. It sounds like a fun outing and I’m sure she’ll have a great time.
Tomorrow is Wednesday, the “early” day at school when they get out at 2:50. I’ve decided to go and pick Isabella up from school and take her to the nearby park to play, as I’ve learned that several of her classmates go there every Wednesday afternoon. I plan to make this a regular event, and hope that I can help her get more settled and avoid more major dramas in the future.
School woes October 10, 2006
Posted by Kristen in Language, School.add a comment
After two and a half weeks, it seems that the novelty of the new school has worn off and the stress is beginning to set in. Isabella confided in me this afternoon that she had had a bad day because her friends were making fun of her on the bus. What did they say, I asked? Well, she said, they were teasing her about the way she was talking to her magical cat. It seems she has a magical spell-cat, whose real name is too long to say or type, but whom she calls Adeedah in spell-language. Adeedah speaks all languages; Isabella speaks to her in spell-language. I asked her more about her day and about the other kids in her class. Apparently, most children are more comfortable in Japanese than English and they speak Japanese to each other all the time in school. Sometimes she hears her own name but can’t understand what they’re saying about her. It seems that it’s really hard to be the only one who can’t speak Japanese. Luckily, she now has a friend to whom she can speak in a language only she can understand.
Isabella went on to sing for me some of the songs her cat had taught her today, such as “The Star Spangled Banner” (okay, she called it “Oh Say Can You See”). Interestingly enough, spell-language has pronunciation and intonation that sound very Japanese.
Beginnings October 8, 2006
Posted by Kristen in Kids, Language, School, Tokyo Adventures, Travel.add a comment
It seems that it’s about time I started recording some of our adventures and thoughts about our new life in Tokyo. A blog seems the best way to do it. Here, then, begins my novice attempt.
To start, I’m going to cheat a bit and copy from some emails I sent recently. Chances are, you’ve already read what follows. I apologize for the repition; still, it makes this a more complete journal.
How it all began . . . .
Here we are, at last, settled in Tokyo. Mark was given the opportunity to move here for a few years to head up computer system development in several areas for the Asia region of his company. We think we will be here for about 3 years. We are really excited to have the opportunity to live in Japan, especially for the opportunities it will give for Isabella (who will be 8 in a week) and Juliet (now 14 months) to learn a new language and experience another culture. Once we made the decision to relocate, we had to move fast in order to get Isabella settled in school as close to the start of the year as possible. Here’s what we’ve been up to!
After the possibility of this move first came up in mid-June, we had a whirlwind of a summer. Following a trip to Glacier National Park with the Poppele family and a short visit to Seattle to visit friends, we returned to New York to begin the enormous task of preparing for the big move. We came to Tokyo for a week in August to look for housing and find a school for Isabella. Back in New York, we spent some time at the summer house we had already rented in Croton-on-Hudson and tried to see friends and tie up loose ends. We spent Labor Day weekend in Mayfield, Kentucky with Mark’s family. Isabella began the school year at her old school in New York while I tried to sort through all our worldly possessions, figure out Juliet’s vaccination schedule, get fluoride vitamins, take a truckload of stuff to Goodwill, sell the car (making 2 visits to the DMV in the process), and plan a farewell party for Isabella, just to name a few things. It was a crazy couple of weeks, ending with 3 nights at the lovely Holiday Inn Chinatown after our furniture had been packed up and sent to storage. Our New York apartment is now empty and awaiting tenants to whom we hope to sublet.
We left New York on Saturday, September 16 and arrived in Tokyo on Sunday the 17th.
We were able to move right into our apartment with rental furniture, dishes and linens. Then we began the enormous task of getting settled here! We applied for our residence permits. We got the all-important cell phones. We have finally bought some furniture of our own and expect it to be delivered next week. Isabella has started school and Juliet is enrolled in a class at Gymboree. We have found a Japanese babysitter for Juliet. Mark had just begun to get settled at work when he left on Saturday for a business trip to New York.
Every day is an adventure, and usually exhausting. It is very frustrating to be unable to communicate, and even more frustrating to be unable to read! I went to the drugstore to buy lotion, and couldn’t find any. Dozens of bottles labeled in Japanese, and no clue as to what they contained. Some things are easier, such as baby food, which has helpful pictures of the ingredients on the label.
Isabella is in 3rd grade at the New International School. She has Japanese as an Additional Language every day. Her regular classroom has a both an English and a Japanese teacher, and lessons are given in both languages. Every child learns violin as part of music class, so she has been working hard on Twinkle Twinkle Little Star. The curriculum revolves around themes and they are currently studying the ocean. In the first week they made an enormous accordion book with the help of a professional artist. The school is not close, and she has a bus ride of more than an hour each way. It is a long and tiring day. But she has made several friends and is happy at school, and we are delighted with the opportunities it provides.
Juliet has a terrific new babysitter named Noriko. She is the mother of an 8-year-old boy and lives nearby. She and her husband are separated and she wants to work to become independent, so she’s babysitting while studying at home for a license in early childhood education. She will speak to Juliet only in Japanese, and last week went to the library to get some Japanese picture books for them to read together. She’s also an enormous help to me. Last week, I planned a furniture shopping trip by myself to Ikea (more on that adventure later!) and asked her somewhat casually if she knew how to take the train there. The next day, she arrived with the instructions written out in complete detail: which station to go to, which side of the street to enter on, the exact fare, and every single stop along the route written out! She’s a real treasure and I feel incredibly lucky.
Mark and I will begin our language lessons soon with the JAL Academy (that’s JAL as in Japan Airlines–I guess they have to train a lot of people in Japanese!). We will each have a teacher who comes to us a few times a week. As it turns out, it is pretty easy to get around here without speaking Japanese (unless, of course, you want to buy lotion). That’s nice for now, but it means we will have to put a concentrated effort into studying if we really want to learn the language. And we really do! I want to learn Japanese just for the fun of learning a new language, and so that I can talk to people here and learn more about the country. And if we’re here long enough, I really want to send Juliet to a Japanese preschool. That means I’ll have to be able to communicate somewhat with the teachers. I hope if I start now, I’ll be able to do that in a few years.
